It seems a little cheesy and cliche to be writing this. Everyone is doing it these days, but it seems that God must be working in a lot of people’s lives and everyone wants to share. I think it is amazing to read about all the joy that God is putting in our lives and to hear how He is breaking us down, piece by piece, and showing Himself to us in a new and amazing light.
God has really been working in me these past few months. Since I came home from LaGrange College in January, I have found it hard to believe that He really does have a plan for me. I have been stubbornly refusing to seek His will for my life. For almost 10 months, I have ignored sermons in church, I have quit reading my bible, and I quit living for Him. I can’t tell you how many times my sisters or Ben or my parents asked me what I thought about the sermon and I had no response because I had no idea, having ignored the whole thing.
However, God really began breaking me down about two months ago. I became horribly aware of my wretched attitude, my sins, and the lack of true joy in my life. I began to realize that my whole life, I have been living my parents faith. I have been one of those “fake Christians” that the bible warns us about. I started reading my bible and praying. I began to pray that God would fill me with a desire for Him. That He would fill me with his love, grace, strength, and mercy. I know that these revelations and realizations are from God and that this was the beginning of His work in me.
About three weeks ago, I was convicted throughout Sunday School and Church of Christ’s faithfulness to me. I was convicted of my sin and unrighteousness before God. It wasn’t that I was doing things that I shouldn’t be doing, it was that I was not doing the things that I should. In those 10 long months, God remained faithful to me and taught me some incredible lessons. I prayed that God would take me back into His fold, guide and direct me, and place in me a strong yearning and desire for Him.
The next week, a very dear friend from Colorado came down and spent time with our family. He and my dad have been friends for years. He told us amazing stories about the people that he ministers to from his home ministry that he and wife have. Don and Susan have people come into their home and share the Gospel of First John with them. They are an incredible couple with an amazing family. As I listened to Don talk about his life and his ministry, I was overwhelmed by his absolute joy and love for God. Later, I asked him what it was that made his faith so strong. He replied to me that it was the mere simplicity of it all. God is faithful. He sent His only Son to die on the cross for us that we might have eternal life. He loves us and wants the best for our lives. The pureness of His love and the simplicity of His will for us, which is to Glorify Him all the days of our lives, is amazing and wonderful. When it finally dawned on me how simple it all is and how freeing it is to truly cast all “your cares upon Him for He cares for you”…that is when I finally realized just how much I have been missing out on. I have nothing to fear or worry about because God is in control, of all things, at all times. How liberating!
God sure has thrown some curve balls my way over the past year. But He has promised to never give me more than I can handle and I trust him to keep His word. I am finally free! What an awesome God I serve!
I will never fail you. I will never forsake you. Heb 13:5