The past two days have not been the best. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I have cried and cried and cried. I just feel blah and I feel that outside circumstances have just added to my feelings of blah-ness.
I have been repeating my comfort verses over and over to myself; “The King is enthralled with your beauty, Honor Him for He is your Lord.” I still don’t feel very pretty. My clothes don’t fit, I hate what I have to wear everyday, boys do/say stupid things, people in general do/say stupid things, and my pride is at a ridiculous all time high. I am cranky and basically a Negative Nancy. I cannot agree with anything anyone says. None of this makes for a very happy camper. People are trying to help and I am turning them down. What is wrong with me?
I have had trouble finding joy, and so, I decided that this was the day to find joy. I decided this as I was driving to work at 5:30 AM, crying all the way. So, God and I had a little one on one. And He spoke His promises to me, sweetly and softly. And I cried some more. I am telling you, my hormones must be on fire. I haven’t cried in awhile.
It all started when I was cleaning something or another and a fireman walked in and ordered his food. He was polite enough, nothing out of the ordinary. A few minutes later, he had his food and sat down to eat. I glanced over and he was praying. I immediately thanked God for allowing me to see that I am not alone. That I am a part of something bigger and that others share my search for the truest form of joy.
Then, a customer (a regular customer, at that) was a little more rude than usual. A friend of mine, Nick Cash, happened to be standing there and his face showed his feelings on the situation at hand. The lady walked away and Nick commented on her behavior. I told him it was par for the course with her and he still thought it was totally uncalled for-which, for the record, it was. After some time had passed, Nick came back up to the counter and said the following:
Theresa, you are doing a great job. No matter what anyone says or does, you are the apple of your Father’s eye. Have a great day!
At this point, I am choking back more tears. I barely manage to get out “Thank you” before he is out the door and gone.
The rest of my day was filled with my sweet sister, a visit from my dad, Sarah Ann, and Mary Lou, sweet texts from friends, and finally being able to work on what my mom calls my “real work.”
God is faithful in all things, at all times. His grace was evident today in all of the little moments He allowed me to experience.