Ask Theresa-Baby Showers, Hosting, and Invitations

Dear Theresa,

Settle an argument between me and my daughter. If someone is giving a shower for you, is it proper for you to invite them to another shower that someone else is giving you? I say no, she says yes.  If it is NO please give me a way to tell her she’s wrong.  I thought she left her friend’s name on the list by accident and asked her since she was giving her another shower, did she still want to invite her to this one. She said yes. I think it is too much to ask of the friend. What say you?

Signed,

Ina Quandary, Atlanta

Dear Ina Quandary,

Aw, sweet Mama. I applaud you seeking a way to graciously talk to your daughter. Good news! No need to have an uncomfortable chat with your daughter. If they are close enough to host a shower, they are close enough to be invited to whatever other celebrations are being held. That being said, your daughter’s friend should not feel obligated to come if their schedule does not allow and if they bring a gift, they shouldn’t feel the need to bring anything other than a small token. Enjoy your new grandbaby!

Dear Theresa,

My daughter and son-in-law married young, are both hard working and responsible, and are expecting their first child (and my first grandchild). Most of their friends are also young and not really able to give them a baby shower. Is it appropriate for me and my daughter’s mother-in-law to co-host a shower for them?

Signed,

Excited First Time Grandmother, Mauk, GA

Dear Excited,

Congratulations on your new addition to the family and on raising good kids! Not an easy feat these days. By all means, partner with your in-law and host a gathering for your daughter. In days gone by, the biddies in the beauty shop would have been talking about you until the next big scandal came to town, but these days, there aren’t always friends close enough (or able) to host a shower. Celebrate your daughter and her baby and the gift of extended family.

Dear Theresa,

What’s the best way to tell someone who has invited you over for a meal that you have specific diet needs? Like, I’m in big trouble if it’s lasagna or pizza…BIG TROUBLE. I have friends with gluten and egg issues too. Or even vegetarians. HELP!

Signed,

Leigh, Columbus, GA

Dear Leigh,

Yippers. Doesn’t sound like fun. It really depends on the type of party. If it’s a large reception or buffet, no need to say anything to your host beforehand. You can simply ask if you have a question about a particular dish. If it’s a small gathering, be upfront with your hostess from the start. Something along the lines of, “Thanks for the invitation, sounds like fun! I should let you know I don’t eat meat” would work just fine. Offer to bring a dish you can eat. Depending on the situation, it may not be possible to accommodate your dietary needs. Don’t be offended. Take the opportunity to extend an invitation to your friend and prepare a meal you are able to eat. It’s a friendly gesture and maybe a learning experience for your friend! Happy Digesting!

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